literature

Pretty little doll

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little-bittie-pretty's avatar
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Literature Text

I don't care what you say
I don't listen to you anyway
Don't you know?
I am nobody's pretty, little doll
That came to me long time ago :D I was so tired of those girls from school always telling me how to dress, how to walk, how to talk that it just hit me :D:D
It's for everyone who feels this way :)
~Enjoy~
© 2011 - 2024 little-bittie-pretty
Comments17
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RollingTomorrow's avatar
Thank you for submitting to the Critique Folder at :iconwriters--club:! :la:

You did a good job working with your comparison to a doll in this piece. :nod: It expressed the notion of being controlled, force to look, act, and dress as others please without directly saying it. It was a good idea and you worked with it well in this little poem.

My only suggestion would be to do something a little different with the third line so it builds up to the conclusion a bit stronger. Adding a question mark to make it "Don't you know?" might add to the attention given to the ending line. :nod:

Regardless, you did a good job with this poem! Keep up the good work! :la:



*TheFinalHikari
Founder of #Writers--club, #LandoftheSky, and #Live-Love-Write